Saturday, September 14, 2013

Our last morning in virgin gorda was super relaxed. We went to savannah bay early in the morning. I read under a tree and took little dips while Chris snorkled around. He saw a sea turtle and even brought back some shell pieces for me to look at. I really wanted to take them home but wasn't sure if  they would get stinky. So I tossed it back into the sea. We lunched dockside and ate the best tasting mahi mahi I have ever had . The water looked like  blue green marbles.

Getting the hell out of virgin gorda was another story. We cabbed to the ferry dock, and the driver told us to leave our luggage by a fence. He said it was safe. I don't know why he said that, I think he just wanted to let us know it was cool to leave it there so we didn't have to wheel it around. Neither of us felt cool with that, but Chris didn't want to insult him so he stood by the luggage till the man drove away (which was a while). There was no one at the ticket booth and when they finally showed up he gave me a funny look, like there wasn't a ferry to saint thomas. Good thing his friend was there just randomly hanging out, he confirmed that there was. The ticket guy shrugged and sold them to me .these tickets were old pieces of paper stamped June 2013. Trying to save on paper I guess. Then they told me to go down around the corner to pay the departure tax. I walked around the building and went into the customs office to ask where to pay, he said down around there and pointed back outside. So I walked outside and the friend of the ticket guy stopped me and said, in there . I was like I was just in there and they said around the corner. He then went inside, then motioned for me to come in and pointed me to the teller window. Two windows down from the customs guy. What the fuck. So I go to pay and the woman says the credit card machine is broken. We spent all our cash on the tickets so we asked where a ATM was. She pointed all the way across a huge pasture . Chris sprinted across the field while I sat pissed off at myself for paying cash for the tickets. When Chris came back covered in beads of sweat he was disappointed because the ATM was out if money ( which has happened a billion times on this trip) . The tax lady suggests we ask the ferry people for cash back . We do they say no, but we could pay the tax when the boat makes a stop in Tortola . So we go back again and the tax lady says to hold on. Finally she says just go. While we wait for the boat at least four people asked to see our departure tax slip. We would then begin our whole story, and no one would let us get to the end they would just wave us through. As if just listening had completely exhausted them to death. 
Well we made it on the ferry and no passengers had bought tickets to Tortola so we went straight to Saint Thomas . So fuck you BVIs and your stupid tax. If you wanted that $30 so bad you should have a working credit card machine or ATM within running distance. 
I totally passed out on the ferry , apparently I matched the cushions .

There was more stupid Tom Foolery at customs.  After immigration they make you run your luggage through a machine that checks for insects. We had a little cooler we brought on the ferry filled with ice to keep a beer and a bottle of water cold. Chris warned the guy it was leaking but he made him throw it on anyways. Not tens seconds later the woman at the other end starts yelling about how someone got something all over her machine and starts acting all pissed. Chris was like dude made me, I told him, it's just water.  I was like..... Really ? You were five feet away from this conversation , and what do you mean your machine? Do you take it home with you at night? Did you buy it? Do you love it? If you love it so fucking much why don't you be more careful about what other people force people to put in it you fucking bitch! Let me through!
( I didn't really say that) but she let us through.
And now here we are in Saint Thomas!

1 comment:

  1. LOL I love that story. Some fucking Kafka shit right there. Lucky you didn't end up in Blue Beard's gulag!